Tod Bolsinger recent post on "God is better than Santa" got me reflecting a bit on my personal story. Tod's post is saying that if we see our relationship with God as a matter of giving instead of receiving then we end up thinking we deserve or have earned God's grace. But instead, we it is most helpful to see Christmas as about receiving and in fact all of spirituality about receiving. This is a profound truth that sometimes is counter intuitive and is contrary to what our emotions (false humility) actually is telling us.
My Personal Story
I remember once I was at a retreat, and we were in the ministry time and a couple came up and wanted to pray for me. They said to put my hands out like I was receiving a gift. I was very awkward. I distinctly remember feeling that I am not to receive from God but give to Him. I had a "the lesser serves the greater" kind of instinct. Anyway, as they prayed for me, I began to weep, but the funny thing was I couldn't feel any thing. They asked what are you "feeling"? I actually said out loud, "I don't feel any thing?" as I wept uncontrollably. Well, the next few years completely changed my personality. (and you thought I am a basket case now..)..Our spiritual transformation all hinges on the idea of changing from being on the giving end or the receiving end with respect to spirituality.