Monday, August 21, 2006

Are All Sinners Addicts?

In “recovery”, men and women live one day at a time moment by moment in spiritual program so that they do not fall into their addiction and possibly or likely destroy their lives. But for us normies, our sin is not so bad or is it? My addiction is intellectual pride. It happens when I open my mouth. Using solves their problem. An addict is not a person who when they use they can’t stop and they ruin their lives. An alcoholic is not a person who can’t handle their liquor. An alcoholic is a person who can’t handle sobriety so they solve the problem in their head with drugs or alcohol or both. An addict is a person who is all messed up when they are sober and the only solution to their sobriety problem is to drink or use. The solution is to have a new state of being when you are sober that you can live with without having to use.

Man….I am exactly the same. Only my problem is much worse. I cannot live without talking. Talking is my whole gig. If I stop talking, I will completely cease to exist. I would be like the whole in the donut. Without being the man who talks or has the next answer to whatever the problem is then I wouldn’t be.

Hello, my name is brad and I am a talk-aholic.
I think if I try to not talk I would explode. It is hard for me to even imagine a life without talking or better giving answers. I quess I am brad and I am a “I got the answer-aholic”. I am a solution-aholic. The problem of my damning addiction is that it is worst when I am not talking. Talking solves my problem. I am exactly like the user who has a problem when they are sober and the drug or alcohol solves the problem and relieves the tension. The problem is the tension and the inability to stop. Then, when they get on a tear the results are a trail of damage. For me the problem is very similar though admittedly more subtle. Let it be said I can talk anyone under the table. When I am finished talking after a binge of words, I feel regret because I know I just defined the dynamic of the social interaction around myself. I just somehow became the center of the drama that I manage by talking. I just quenched the Spirit.

Let it be said I can talk anyone under the table. I like a real hopeless case start getting drunk with ideas first thing in the morning. And sometimes I am drunk all day. This is a totally life controlling problem. I am a hopeless “give the answer talk-aholic”. Brad’s drunk with words again. When this happens, people basically start to say stuff like, “Ah, we gotta go. I think I need to feed the fish”. When you are called to make disciples and teach people by example, my addiction totally undermines God’s plan for my life. Often when on the streets talking to addicts we say the same thing to them. Do you think this is God’s plan for your life? On further reflection I realize, that is the pot calling the kettle black. My addiction completely undermines God’s plan for my life. I realize this seems a little humorous but the reality is I am totally serious.

So what do I need to do if I am going to enter the full inheritance of the kingdom of God in my life? First, I need to realize I am powerless and that my life has become unmanageable. That is my story. My entire approach to life and my whole gig needs to be tossed. My whole approach to life has led to dawn to dust and late night self-centered intellectual pride. Unmanageable!!! I have tried to manage this problem before. I tried quitting on my own. I tried church and accountable relationships. Nothing worked. Now, I pretty much have resigned myself to a long painful talk-aholic death. I am powerless. My only possible solution is to find a power outside myself, a Savior, to give me a miracle.

The second thing I need to do is find someone who has been cured from this miserable disease I have and take a little spiritual direction from someone who has been down this road.

Also, I need two meetings a day. I am willing to go to any length to beat this addiction, one day at a time, so that I might be of some use to God and that I might show some other intellectually proud person how to beat this beast.

So if you know anybody else that suffers from this problem of a lack of control of the tongue or any other similar problem and they are sick and tired of being sick and tired then send ‘em our way because I think we found a solution.

Also, I got a friend who is money counter …but he found help too. Can you believe that even a money counter can get recovery. One day at a time. It works if you work it.


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